Have you ever met with someone and then felt like you just didn’t click? It may have been a sales situation, a management situation, or even a personal relationship. Whatever the case, you just didn’t feel like you connected?
Or maybe the opposite has happened to you. Maybe you met someone for the first time, and you hit it off immediately. Sometimes that can be a good thing. But if you’re in a position that includes hiring staff, you may end up hiring someone that’s not a good fit.
So what’s the key to that emotional engagement?
As human beings, we struggle and strive to connect with other people who are like us. Someone who is outgoing loves to connect with others that are outgoing. And people that are analytical and logical feel more comfortable around others that are logical.
If someone who is an introvert is around an extrovert, they’re likely not to show a lot of emotion. If you’re that extrovert, it may be uncomfortable. You want some sort of emotional reaction. You want to see a smile, a frown, tears, a hug, or some display of emotion.
And if you’re that introvert, you’re saying to yourself, “What’s wrong with this person?”
But when you have two people with similar communication styles, they don’t feel as uncomfortable. And it’s not just limited to whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, but all aspects of communication.
In sales, you can use that knowledge to connect more easily with someone, break down the defense mechanisms they naturally have toward salespeople, and have a real conversation about whether you’re a good fit for them or not.
In hiring, understanding this concept means you can recognize when you like someone just because you have similar communication styles. Just because you connect, doesn’t mean they’re a good fit for the position or for your organization.
And in management, you can use this to better communicate and understand your staff. It’s an invaluable tool in coaching situations.
So when you’re not connecting with someone, take some ownership. By adapting to their communication style, you can greatly increase your chances of emotionally engaging them.